ADHD and Being a Loner
By Zoë Kessler, BA, B.Ed.
I’d had to travel out of town for a medical appointment which I’d dreaded, and decided to stop at one of my favorite restaurants for lunch on the way home.
The appointment went far better than I’d expected, so instead of driving home feeling sorry for myself I felt happy and celebratory. I began wishing I’d had company for lunch.
This got me thinking about why I hadn’t called ahead to make a lunch date with a friend. That’s when it struck me: for nearly half a century, I’d believed I was a natural-born loner. By the time the waitress brought my food, I’d started to deconstruct that belief.
Like the layers of an onion I peeled back each reason why I found myself sitting alone that day when I would have far preferred company.
Layer 1: ADHD Time-Management Rationalizing
Since it’s next to impossible to know if an appointment with a specialist will start on time, or how long it will take, it’s much easier to just go to the appointment and drive home rather than scheduling a lunch date when I’m not sure when I’ll be available.
Thinking this through, I realized that the friend I would have invited to join me would have been flexible as to when we met for lunch. Still, I’d chosen to eat alone. To read more, click here.
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